20 things I’ve learned in my 30 years of living

Tomorrow I’ll be thirty.

THIRTY. Thirty years of living out in this big, wild world. Thirty years of moments seemingly haphazardly yet ultimately meaningfully strung together to create this life I live.

You don’t get through thirty years of moments without experiencing some deep ruptures. Thirty years is enough time for a lot of heartache and a lot of sorrow. It’s also enough time for a lot of beauty, joy and wide-eyed grace. I come to thirty with a lot of scars, but they are scars that speak of brokenness being made beautiful. I am deeply grateful that I come to thirty leaning face-first into the wonder of a healing grace that soaks into my ruins and makes them fruitful.

With thirty so close I can see it peeking around the corner, I thought I’d put pen to paper and share a few of the things I have learned in these thirty years in the hope that they help shape the next.

1. My value is not dependent on what I achieve, produce or accomplish. It is inherent in my design and nothing in all creation will be able to change it. According to Jesus, I am worth dying for.
2. Dream big, but don’t live in your dreams. The only way to build towards your dreams becoming reality is to live and invest in the present.
3. Different folks, different strokes. We’re all different and that’s okay. I am not judge and jury over anybody, and nobody but God is my Judge.
4. It’s better to be faithful than brilliant.
5. Don’t interpret what your love interest says and does through the lens of your preferred future with them.
6. Feel what you are feeling.
7. Don’t worry about needing something profound to say. Giving someone your time communicates more profoundly than you know.
8. Don’t shut your heart.
9. Better out than in: if you’re thinking something nice about someone, tell them.
10. It is better by far to walk with the God of love in the unknown than with fear in the known.
11. Whatever your gift, wear it well.
12. There’s hope in the tunnel and light at the end.
13. As it’s been said, you’d worry less about what others think of you if you realised how seldom they do.
14. If you keep your options open and never choose anything, you’ll end up with nothing.
15. Waiting both takes and forges resilience.
16. We receive love by surrendering to it.
17. People are not mind readers.
18. Find ways to look up to and admire those you are caring for. Don’t look down on others.
19. I can help to provide the right conditions for something to grow, but I cannot force growth.
20. Love gives birth to life.